Bathroom renovations are underway, but won't be finished until April.
In the meantime, I tackled other projects around the house. My friend Tim was enlisted in helping replace the deck boards...as well as fix a few other items on our list of house projects (he's a pretty darn handy guy).
On our first day on the deck we got pretty far! One entire (manageabley-sized) section completed.
Looking out toward the side yard.
Looking toward the screened-in porch.
I didn't realize this, but fresh treated wood like this needs to dry for approximately three months before staining or painting it. So, it looks like we'll be painting in June, making our deck ready for action by 4th of July!
The following Saturday, Tim came over again and helped knock out a few other projects!
The skewed angle was my bad - the superglue was making it difficult for me to let go of the screen. Ended up taking it however I could leave it.
He helped us repair some screening on our porch (prepare yourself for the Attack of Zika-Mosquitoes!). We had a small hole from who-knows-what that we patched up, and a ginormous hole above it from a determined squirrel. The squirrel had smelled the bird feed we naively left out on our porch. We underestimated the power of a berserking, hangry squirrel. His determination won him the food and cost us a screen.
We're more careful now.
Whole new screen! Tim showed me how to replace this.. Yay for new skills!
Our porch door had been torn up from the crazy tornado weather we had this year (weirdest late winter/early spring I've seen here in NC). The old door was made of wood, and had soaked up the storm water through its previously damaged boards, and rotted out surprisingly quickly. We went with a vinyl door this time, and it looks pretty spiffy!
It opens and closes, while staying in one piece! :-D
Similar to the porch door, our mailbox's wooden post was starting to go. The box also had issues, often not staying closed. But, at 30+ years old, I suppose that's to be expected. Our house now has a new receptacle for the US Post. Hopefully it will bring some small amount of joy to our mail lady. Now it will close when she's done, won't be sopping wet inside when it's raining, and hopefully no longer host ants in the summer.
Ready for you, Ms. Post Lady
The old screen door and mailbox.
Our garage is now full with house project supplies: lumber for the porch, Sheetrock and tiling for the bathroom, and a host of things that need to be taken to the dump and to the ReStore.
I hope we will have an awesome cookout this summer, celebrating Tim and his mad skills.
Quest # 14: Compost
I (with tons of the help from my mother) put together a compost bin, and have started putting kitchen scraps and leaves from the yard in it! We'll see if I can get this ratio of "greens" to "browns" figured out. It would be wonderful to be able to use some good compost on my garden this year.
Work Complete!
Quests-in-Progress
Quest # 1: Biographies
Officially kicked off this quest with Negroland, a memoir, by Margo Jefferson. I highly recommend the book, as it helps put some current news in better perspective. It's a bit rough to get through - of course - but sort of like eating your healthy-foods: you can feel the wholesomeness improving you after getting through it. My post on it is a bit long and disjointed... it's kind of difficult for me to collect my thoughts if I don't have someone to talk with/at. But I'm up for discussion if someone has feedback.
Quest # 2: Finances
Mint has been very helpful with giving me a better big-picture view of my situation. I also did my taxes (early!), and found out that I will be getting money back this year. Now the dilemma is: do I spend it on necessary things, spontaneously fun things, or fun things that I have planned? I am (after counseling from family and coworkers, since I tend to blab to everyone before making big-ish decisions) leaning toward putting that money away for my reunion with the ladies in Paris this October.
Quest # 3: Tithing Time: I spaced on this one. Didn't volunteer this month. Money: I substituted this months lack of volunteer time with extra donation money, and "adopted" a sloth through the World Wildlife Fund (WWF)!. Quest # 5: Performance
Local 506 - a popular music venue, where Amigo played this month.
I went to see my college friend's band (Amigo) open for a couple other bands' album release party (Silver Dollar Switchblade and Campfires and Constellations), which are all of the Americana variety, and local North Carolina bands. I'm getting to the point that I can sing along a bit with some of their songs, and even recently bought their record album! I love hanging out with them before and after their performance. They're a trio of fun/funny/chill guys. Their song "A Murder of Crows Outside" gets stuck in my head (although, the lyrics make me squirm a bit, admittedly).
They also recently had one of their songs played on a TV show - Z Nation, on the SyFy channel - which is completely awesome! "Love's Made a Fool Out of Me" was played during an epic zombie stripper dance/bounty hunter fight scene, and played again in total during the end credits. I was also impressed with Campfires and Constellations. If they can keep focused, I would be willing to bet that they could go pretty far. They've got charisma and catchy songs like you could hear on the radio ("Outlaw's Dream" is especially fun, in my opinion).
Quest # 11: Photography
I took some fun photos during my work trip with dad down to Charleston (photos at the end of the blog). I also finally downloaded an app which allows for making collages!
Quest # 12: Utilize Pinterest
Used Pinterest to plan my birthday party (see previous post for photos),
Quest # 15: Housework
This month I had been planning to help out with the renovation of our upstairs bathroom, but our general contractor was swamped with work. Instead, I cleaned up the work area in the garage - which is something I have been wanting to do for almost a year now. That felt really good. Now, we can access all of the drawers and compartments, and utilize the tabletop. We also have a big bundle of things now to donate to the ReStore and to Goodwill.
Before. I had just finished pulling stuff off of the top of the workbench.
After. Things put away, and now we have access to all of the cabinets and drawers!
Quest # 16: Job Work
Had a ton of jobs this month. My "own" (w/ my supervisor's help), as well as assisting in training my new coworker.
One of my jobs this month (this one really was more of me assisting my supervisor, since it was so much over my head), lead me to stay in Charleston, South Carolina! I love traveling and checking out the history of the area....and the food. So, Charleston is one of my more favorite southern American cities I've been to. I posted photos from the trip below, at the end of the blog.
We got our stand-up desks! S. and I put them together ourselves, which was a pretty fun teamwork activity. ;-D
Quest # 18: Exercise
The goal is three times a week, and I made it more like two times a week.... With work keeping me late and on weekends (and sometimes out of town), it was a struggle to get myself to carve out time to go to the gym.
Quest # 20: Meal Plan
Did some meal planning, but still not quite up to what my goal is. Got a NutriBullet from my dad for my birthday, so I've been doing some prep for that on Sundays. At least I have a morning drink some mornings. Some other things I've done ....
.. I made some curry ttoekpokki (카레 떡볶이 - rice cake noodles in curry with vegetables) after talking with one of my dear friends, Natalie. It was a bit jarring to shop at the Korean food market in town. I had so many happy memories of the food I would make or buy there. It was quite the nostalgic rush on the emotions. The dish came out great, thanks to my friend's instructions.
... and some yooboo chobap ( 유부 초밥 -rice with veggies and apple cider vinegar, stuffed into tofu triangle pockets). One of the places I tutored at would often make these for the students to snack on while we were in class. One of my favorite summer foods!
.... I also tried a curried cauliflower cheese soup! I'm not completely sure if I did it right - I feel like I ended up with more soup than the recipe says I should have - but it is yummy. Thanks to my coworker for lending me her soup cook-book, and my little brother for helping with some finishing tweaks to the recipe to make it even more delicious!
... and, with my kombucha batch this month, I tried making some hibiscus flavored bottles, thanks to my friend McNeill for the idea! Apparently someone in her area in Vietnam has been selling kombucha, and hibiscus was McNeill's favorite. It is so tart, sweet, and refreshing!
Quest # 24: Floss
Again, I averaged about 3 times a week. I'm starting to think this may be the healthy number for me and my gums, since I've noticed if I do a couple nights in a row, my teeth get incredibly sensitive. So, maybe I'll build up to consecutive flossings, but for now, the 'every-other-day' thing seems to be best for my mouth.
Quest # 26: Friends
Had Skype dates with Natalie in Paris, Suh in Daegu (S. Korea), and my monthly video chat date with my group of university friends. I chatted a bit with a few others, and I hope to visit friends in March.
Coming up next:
Quest # 1: Biographies
March is Women History Month, and I am slated to read Bachelor Girl by Betsy Israel. There are a couple other options though, so we'll see what's available at the library. Quest # 13: Garden
I've got a solid, general idea of what I want: a raised bed for veggies, out in the yard, and pots of herbs on the back porch. I have everything to start off some seedlings, so, March is it! Let's get this party started!
Quest # 15: House Work - bathroom remodel.
Hopefully it will happen this month. I have a friend who will help with the demo of the existing bathroom, and we have paint and shower tiles picked (basically). Just need a date for our GC and we'll be ready to go on this project.
Quest # 22: Contact Lenses
It's starting to get sunny and warm, so I'm sure I'll be wanting to wear sunglasses soon. I'm not sure that my eyelids have improved much. I'm not completely positive they are ready to accept lenses again. But I'm mentally ready to have them back in my life (I think, ultimately, I'll need to just save up for surgery).
Quest # 23: Knee
The exercising multiple times a week has really helped (ie I can walk on that leg now), but I'd like to get back into dancing, and I'd like to do a 5k in May. It's time to see a doc about a knee.
and I'll continue with the above Quests-in-Progress!
Below are photos from our trip down south I-95 to Charleston, South Carolina. I hope ya'll enjoy!
KJets
South of the Border (theme park? destination area?), just across the NC/SC border, in Hamer, South Carolina
Welcome to the lovely Charleston!
Poogan's Porch - scrumptious American food in a traditional Charleston home
There were quite a few of the frames on the walls - framed notes and signatures from famous actors, singers, and other public figures who have dined here, at Poogin's Porch.
February Biography: Negroland, a memoir by Margo Jefferson
In honor of Black History Month, I picked a biography about the life of a black/African American woman, and I am so glad I did. This is one of those books that changes the way I see the world around me. Even before I finished it, I was already interpreting actions and reactions of people in the news differently - even music and other entertainment. I was seeing through the lens of Margo Jefferson's experience.
I'll note now: I am sorry if any word choices or opinions offend you, the reader. If you are easily offended, I would advise perhaps not reading further. However, if you choose to continue reading, please understand I write the following with thoughtfulness and respect, with no intention for degradation or slights toward any gender, skin color, or culture.
This memoir brings the reader along in the experience of a woman of color in america, and especially the tightrope-walk-balance of being a middle-class woman of color. She starts with a brief history of what her parents and their generation lived through, and then began her reflection on her years growing up. Through childhood, college life, and beyond, she talks about her experience, situations she faced, and how society evolved and changed through the years; how society's view of the "Middle Class Negro" (as she says) changed, and how their own view of themselves changed.
Her struggles were a lot more complex that anything I have experienced as a white middle-class woman. However, my experiences and struggles as a Woman did help me sympathize, appreciate, and put myself in her shoes emotionally. It made me so frustrated and angry for her. So many of the struggles are the same as they were that she is writing about from the 1970's. Isn't that a shame? Like, a crying, screaming shame.
I wish this was required reading. You're going to be an adult in our society? Here. Read some books about what life is like for people who do not look or act exactly like you, and don't have the same opportunities that you have. Read, and understand.
To clarify: this book wasn't like some sort of "cure" to my ignorance. I honestly wish I had some friends of color that I felt comfortable talking with them about this book (of the acquaintances and friends I do have, I don't want to impose. Like "mmm excuse me, would you like to be an ambassador and educate me? Pls, thx!").
One of the things I was sad about when I moved back home, was that I felt like I had stopped being around another culture. I was back in my birthplace and felt like I knew the basics of everything I needed to know about American culture. This book was encouraging: other cultures (than my white, middle class one) are here, I just have to go a bit out of my normal life habits to get into and learn about those cultures.
If I could talk to someone, I would want to ask: what is that person's experience nowadays? What do they find the most frustrating/unjust? (other than police brutality. I kinda get that one)What things have changed for the better, and what feels like it could be the solution? In the meantime, I'm watching you, Beyonce.
Some Quotes and Topics I Wish I Had a Bookclub to Discuss With:
(unless otherwise noted, quotes are from Margo Jefferson)
Although trying to warn and prepare us for life in the "real world," our parents often accidentally pass down their own negative feelings and viewpoints to us:
"The secret signal which one generation passes, under disguise, to the next is loathing, hatred, despair. And as a result of these, a sense of perpetual violation."
Although I have not personally experienced as much sexism as my mother or the women before her, I know through their stories. I know the injustices which have happened, and I have taken their anger as my own. Yes, I also have experienced sexism and injustices through men (and sadly, sometimes women). But lately I have wondered how that has fueled a pre-existing distrust, or if my awareness has made me simply more aware of the fact that what they did or said was wrong. Awareness is good, and important. Hand-me-down hurt is not.
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On page 136 of the book, she talks about seeing black actors on television, in movies, and in plays. There weren't very many. Some roles that they played were shunned and scorned by other members of the middle class, so she learned/memorized that these roles were embarrassing (and anyone nowadays would most likely agree. The writers were not very educated or perhaps did not care too much about dignity).
I was also watching an old Gilmore Girls show recently, where the mother was heavily making fun of the woman character of the show they were watching - a stay-at-home wife who was unnaturally cheerful and always baking.* I agree that it is important to understand how damaging these roles are.
People see these (highly unrealistic/stylized, yet not intentionally comedic?) portrayals, and if it's the only way they ever see that type of person, their expectations of real life can be horribly skewed. A black or Asian man as intelligent, powerful, and sexy? Or a woman of any color in a powerful, main-character role? Or in a role where she is important but her sexual appeal is NOT in anyway the focus? These are not very common things to see still on television. As a result, it is difficult for anyone to envision them in those types of roles.
*On the flip side, I don't think it's alright to make complete fun of some of these stereotypes. What's wrong with a housewife/househusband? Nothing but our own perception. In fact, I think it's wonderful when a partner is able to stay home at least part time and take care of the home and health of the family. This is a phenomenally powerful role which has been largely undervalued.
Chelsea Does : Racism, a documentary/somewhat of a comedy on Netflix
Yesterday I watched a mini-documentary by Chelsea Handler ("Chelsea Does." a mini-series of documentaries on Netflix) where she discusses and investigates racism. She's a bit...unfiltered... but I thought it was an interesting watch. It definitely had cringeworthy moments, as this Washington Post article covers. But, in one of her interviews, the Native American woman she talked with mentions that when we don't have people like us (you, whoever is watching) on the screen, we sort of become "non-people" or "non-existent" in the imagination of society. I believe that we need to see positive reflections of ourselves on the screen, in the media, in our entertainment, to help us envision ourselves in various roles and possibilities.
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She talks about the incredible amount of pressure the middle-class people of color went through. It was so stressful that she says, "in Negroland boys learned early how to die." It was even more difficult for the girls, with so many stipulations on how ladylike, chaste, intelligent and strong they must be.
During the feminist movement of the '70's, white women had the privilege of expressing their depression and melancholy. White women were able to be "freely yielding to depression, of flaunting neurosis as a mark of social and psychic complexity." which were feelings that were not allowed for a woman of color to express "because our people had endured horrors and prevailed, even triumphed, their descendants should be too strong and to proud for such behavior."
"We were to be ladies, responsible Negro women, and indomitable Black Women."
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At one point in the book be shows her collection of quotes she related to:
"I had wanted to compromise with Fate to escape occasional great agonies by submitting to a whole life of privations and small pains. Fate would not be so pacified . . .
'But if I feel, may I never express?'
'Never!' declared Reason.
I groaned under her bitter sternness. . . . If I have obeyed her it has chiefly been with the obedience of fear, not of love." Charlotte Bronte, Villette
(My note: it's infuriating how unwelcome expressions of anger and hurt are, when we have experienced something unjust. Anyone who hasn't gone through that experience - anyone at the top of the social food chain ::ahem::white men::ahem:: - gets uncomfortable and tells us to be quiet. If we express our hurt too much, they start to shun us, calling us crazy, angry, irrational people)
"You are you and you are going to be you forever. It was like coasting downhill, this thought, only much much worse, and it quickly smashed into a tree. Why was I a human being?" Elizabeth Bishop, The Country Mouse
"I have stories to tell?
I have cuts and bruises that do not map a course. Wendy Walters, A Letter from the Hunted in Retrospect
"And none of them are justified unless you find a way to make the story worth telling." - Margo Jefferson
(My note: I have gone through periods where I feel like there is no one who will accept my feelings as justified, unless I can find a way to put it into a more palatable, more interesting and pleasant story. I guess that is always the case, for any situation, but it does make a person feel a little more isolated and hopeless)
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On Florynce Kennedy, a lawyer, protester, organizer; an activist for civil rights, anti-war, black power, feminism, and gay rights:
"She used to say something like this: When black women tell me feminism is a white woman's thing, I tell them: you've spent all these years, all these centuries, imitating every bad idea white women came up with - about their hair, their makeup, their clothes, their duties to their men. And now, they finally come up with one good idea- feminism- and you decide you don't want anything to do with it!"
Margo Jefferson writes that "I won't trap myself into quantifying which matters more, race, or gender, or class." that these are all "basic elements of on's living." In the end, it's a question of "How does each matter?" (Not "which matters most?"). As she says,
"Gender, race, class; class, race, gender - your three in one and one in three."
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My conclusion: this was very important to read, especially with the Black Lives Matter movement currently, and the recent hoopla about Beyonce and her Black Panthers reference at the Super Bowl. I hope teachers are using material like this in school. I cannot emphasize enough the importance of doing what you can to try to understand people who are not living in your own personal sphere of existence.
Knowledge is power, and the understanding that comes with knowledge leads to peace.
